'If people can encrypt their cell phones, what's stopping them encrypting their PCs?'

QuoTW This week NASA showed off its plans to lasso an asteroid, researchers mourned over a bug-riddled Chrome browser, and RSA banned buxom booth babes.


Here are some, er, titillating quotes from the week:


Fadi Chehade, president and CEO of ICANN, did not mince his words when discussing the committee behind the IANA body. He had this to offer of the group:


There is no one today in the CWG [Community Working Group] who even understands how the functions work. I sent my CTO David Conrad to explain to them how the system works ... Frankly, no one there even knew what he was talking about.

And then there's the ever-reliable copper-haired boydroid Mark Zuckerberg.


Speaking at the company's F8 developer conference, Zuck posited that the practice of forcing air through your vocal chords is, y'know, soooo 20th Century. Instead, he thinks we'll move on to alternative forms of communication:


I actually don't know anyone who likes calling businesses. It's just not fast or convenient and it definitely doesn't feel like the future.

But enough of what a billionaire, 30-year-old thinks.


This week also saw a triumph for the little guy, when a group of users in the UK won the right to challenge Google in court over its handling of data on the Safari browser. Here's what plaintiff Marc Bradshaw had to say about the whole thing:


The Court of Appeal has ensured Google cannot use its vast resources to evade English justice. Ordinary computer users like me will now have the right to hold this giant to account before the courts for its unacceptable, immoral and unjust actions.

Also fancying himself a hero of the common man is FCC boss Tom Wheeler. The chairman, during a confab at Ohio State University, likened himself to everything from a football ref to a police captain:


You remember the story of Robin Hood when he encountered Little John; Robin Hood wanted to cross the river but Little John controlled the passage from one side to another. Unlike Robin Hood, today’s consumers lack the power to fight back against ISPs.

And if that wasn't enough executive navel-gazing for you, we present the following gem from Apple bling-king Tim Cook, who was discussing his plan to donate his fortune to charity:


You want to be the pebble in the pond that creates a ripple for change.

Robin Fry, co-founder of Cerno, wanted to remind everyone that the folks up in Redmond, Cupertino and Mountain View aren't looking out for the little guy. Here's what he had to say:


In our experience, the surprise to the customer is that the software vendor is not their trusted friend: indeed that the licence review has been initiated with the predominant aim of revenue optimisation, regardless of any damage to the relationship.

And finally, we close out the week with one of the most astoundingly ignorant remarks we've seen in years. Congressman John Carter (R-TX), wanted to know just how far this wild new technology known as "encryption" could extend:


If they can do that to a cell phone, why can't they do that to every computer in the country and nobody can get into it? Aren't we creating an instrument that's the perfect tool for lawlessness? If they at their own will at Microsoft or at Apple can put something in that [phone] computer to where nobody in that computer can own it, then why can't they put it in the big giant supercomputers and everything gets locked away secretly?

Perhaps he also thinks the internet is turned off at night, so it can have an ickle sleep to restore its batteries. What a dunderhead.


Until next time ... ®






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